Cuttin’ Trees

In 1998 all the elm trees in Ireland had to be felled due to a dutch elm disease that caused em all to rot. Having an elm tree on your property was a terrible liability as they were falling all over the shop and so everyone in the country was ordered to chop them down immediately before someone was killed

My Father asked Jimmy Mac from Ballinspittle if he wouldn’t mind helping him chop down the elm tree we had in our garden. This is the village Jimmy is from:

Jimmy and himself arranged to do it on the following Sunday. So my father and Jimmy arranged to meet in the pub as you do before you have to cut down a tree. About forty pints later, they emerged from the pub ready for action. They got the chainsaw out and scoped out the situation. They had planned for the tree to fall to the left, so Jimmy naturally stood to the right. My father had the chainsaw and started it up. I came out of the house to watch. About a half an hour later, the plan went a bit awry and the tree didn’t fall to the left as planned, it fell to the right and Jimmy was under it. His head was split open and the scalp was flapping in the wind. I saw his brain. Jimmy was rushed to hospital. He lives to tell the tale. There are two morals to this story:

1. Never drink before operating a chainsaw

2. Never get an Irish man to cut down your tree